This resolution is based on two almost opposite (but equally ineffective) tendencies of mine.

The first is that I want to do things perfectly or not at all, and I want to be consistent. I've re-written shopping lists before because I didn't like the way I wrote "tomato paste." As a kid, my coloring books were filled with pages of barely started pictures that I stopped because Snow White's bow wasn't the right color, or I colored outside of the lines on Barbie's Corvette.

Like many people, I'd imagine, this tendency manifests itself a ton in my diet/exercise life. If I decide I'm going to run 5 days in a row one week, and I miss the first day, I'm more likely to give up on the rest of the week too. If I'm not going to have a perfect running week, I might as well not have any running week.

Likewise, if I decide I'm going to start eating healthy starting NOW, but in 5 minutes I find a can of chocolate frosting in the fridge, I will absolutely eat the frosting, and I will eat macaroni and cheese for lunch, candy corn for a snack, a piece of cheese for another snack, dinner, and then whatever Luke is having for dessert. If I'm not going to have a perfect healthy eating day, I might as well not eat anything healthy.

Cross-apply the above tendency to:
- Keeping the house tidy (If my closet isn't tidy, I might as well not worry about the rest of the house)
- Prayer life (If I didn't get my quiet time in yesterday I may as well not take the time all week)

And then begins the onslaught of side-effects of throwing in the towel: general feelings of guilt, feeling disappointed, feeling unaccomplished... and then the more specific side-effects of feeling sick/tired from eating unhealthy foods, feeling anxious from not running, or from not keeping the house tidy, and the overall worn-down feeling I get when I haven't been staying close to God.

The second, opposite tendency of mine is best reflected in my attitude and performance at the Mardi Gras Half Marathon. In training for the race, the longest I ran was 11 miles. I tapered and rested after that until the big 13.1 day. Luke ran with me, and was so excited for me to get to the 10 mile mark - that I'd feel like I could really kick it in for the last 3 miles. I got to the 10 mile mark, felt pretty okay. Luke started talking about how great the last 2 miles would be - I could really start to kick and know that I had enough energy to really finish. As I ran past the 11 mile marker, I realized that with every step, I was running 1 step longer than I had ever run before. One yard further, 1 quarter mile further. And then I realized - I'm content at 11. I could stop here. I don't need to finish. This is the longest I've ever run and I'm proud that I ran 11.

I didn't stop, thankfully. I don't think Luke would have let me, and I'm glad I didn't. I would have hated myself for it. When I sprinted through the finish (Luke let me beat him by a few seconds even), I felt such a feeling of accomplishment. Not just because I ran further than I had ever run before, but because I met the goal that I had set.

With these tendencies in mind, I've set Joy Resolution #3 for myself in two parts.

A - Finish the race. Once I define the win for myself each day, I need to push myself to finish and to win. I can't allow myself to be content with just doing okay.

B - ... Even crawling. I need to realize that there are days that I'm not going to have a perfectly successful day. I'm going to eat chocolate frosting for lunch on occasion, and I need to push myself to restart at that moment, start eating healthy, and finish the race of that day, even if I didn't run it perfectly.