Ugh. This is my worst. But I'll come right out with it.

I love to know stuff. (Not so bad, you say?) Okay. The real truth is that I REALLY LOVE for other people to know that I know stuff. I'd say it's a passion of mine, actually.

Let's say I'm in a group of people, let's say moms, and I hear someone ACROSS THE ROOM having a conversation that sounds like this:

mom 1: "Jack is just so sad about his teeth. I've been giving him Tylenol, but it's just not doing the trick."
mom 2: "Gosh, I don't know."

From ACROSS THE ROOM, I word vomit "HaveyoutriedmotrinbecausetylenolisafeverreducerandapainrelieverbutmotrinisafeverreducerapainrelieverANDanantinflammatorysothatshouldworkbetter."

Now, did they ask me? No. They weren't even talking to me.

It would be one thing if I was just trying to be helpful. I've thought about this tendency of mine quite a bit, and tried to justify by telling myself I just like to help people. But that's not true.

I want that person to know that I know. That they're clueless, but I'm not. I want them to know that I know about biology, chemistry, medicine, gosh science in general, running (even though I know almost nothing), cycling (even though I know even less than nothing about that). One time I heard someone in my hallway (that I didn't know) at work talking about how she didn't understand why you clip into "clipless pedals" and I promise you, it actually made me sick to my stomach to not run out and tell her. And again, not so that she would know about clipless pedals. No, I wanted her to know that I know about clipless pedals.

It's really really really sickening. And it's absolutely addictive. And like an addict, I gain enablers. Because once I say a few gems of random knowledge like that, I become "an expert." If someone wants to know about biology stuff, they come ask me, because I'll probably know. And then I'm just out-of-control.

In Dale Carnegie's book, "How to win friends and influence people," he lists 6 ways to make people like you:

1. Become genuinely interested in other people.
2. Smile.
3. Remember that a man's Name is to him the sweetest and most important sound in any language.
4. Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.
5. Talk in the terms of the other man's interest.
6. Make the other person feel important and do it sincerely.

I know people who do these 6 fairly well. And you know what? I like them. A lot.

So for joy resolution #10, I resolve to practice being more like the people I like... people who look for ways to make other people feel good about themselves. Now, this is tricky, because I don't want to just ask people about things that I already know in an effort to make them feel better about themselves... Because honestly, that's a waste of all of our time. I like that Carnegie says "GENUINELY interested," and "do it sincerely." I can be a great pretender when I want to be, and I know exactly how to be fake interested in what someone is saying. And since I can tell when people are doing it to me, I'd imagine people can see through my bluff too.

Now, you may ask, what does this have to do with being more joyful? Good question. I DO LOVE knowing things. It makes me happy. I'd even say it brings me joy to word vomit about everything I know about adenovirus.

But I know in my heart that this isn't the person I want to be. And that is heart-breaking. Not joyful in the least. So here's to becoming a sincere, genuinely interested, loving LISTENER.

I have a feeling that this will be a lot tougher than not eating sour patch kids for breakfast.